In my weekly hot yoga class yesterday, my mind drifted, for a moment, away from an intense focus on the practice.
Towards the beginning, the instructor had us stand tall in Tadasana, feet hip width apart. As she circled the room, adjusting what can seem the simplest of postures, she invited me to move my feet closer together. Her words? “Give yourself some more credit.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
The yoga studio I attend has three distinct walls. Morning light streams through the windows on one; a single ballet bar adorns another; a third is composed entirely of floor to ceiling mirrors. I never look in the mirrors.
Perhaps if I did, I might have seen that my feet were spread too wide. But in that room, my reflection never tempts me. Yoga has become a place where I am free from any needs or desires to dwell on the shape of my body.
Ninety percent of the time, I do see myself as I am, and I am proud of it. But those occasions do arise where old habits blindside me, and I can’t see my size realistically. Rather than fixating on these moments, though, I evaluate them and move on.
My feet were opened too far; some part of me believed they were mirroring my hips. So, I moved them inward, and I drifted for a minute as I considered my past and my present. I grinned, appreciating yoga for continuing to educate me day after day, and I returned to my mat.
What helps you to accept yourself as you are?